Don’t knock, just walk in

What’s the best way to determine if someone is using the bathroom?

Just walk in.

Another way (the safest and most comfortable) is to knock. But sometimes the environment is loud and too hard to hear the person anyway so ultimately you decide to wait because you’re unsure.

But if you simply open the door and someone is in there, they’ll make sure you know not to come any further.

How about we do that in life? Instead of knocking, just barge in and let the situation take care of itself.

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Guest post

Special thanks to EmilyMorganThompson for allowing me to guest write on her blog. If you’re curious, click here.

Oh, and give me a shout if you want her to reciprocate.

Tribute to Dad Re-Post

A year ago I wrote a very special post titled, “Tribute to Dad” for my Dad’s birthday.

A year later, I thought it would be fitting to re-post it. Please enjoy.

Dad, happy birthday.

———————–

Today is your birthday Dad…. You make me glad I’m your son.

Favorite sayings

• You make me glad I’m a dad.
• He won’t have the guts to do that again.
• You can eat an elephant one bite at a time.
• All I’m doing is fishing; if the bobber goes down, I’ll reel it in. If it doesn’t, I don’t care.
• It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.
• Pole Cat!
• Before our meeting they would pepper me with objections. I would stand in front of a mirror for hours. When I drove to see your mother before we got married, I would talk to myself and overcome at least 40 objections…. I started to feel bad for the client!
• The client buys on emotion, he keeps it in force with logic.
• You always close with an emotional story.
• You can tell me…I’m your dad.
• Have you ever kissed a girl as long as you wanted….?
• We can’t buy a basket right now.
• He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.
• I’ll be on you like ugly on ape.
• If you find a wife half as good as your mother you’ll be in good shape.
• He couldn’t sell guns in a prison riot.
• If you don’t see them you can’t sell them. (Charlie Schoolcraft)
• Cat fur’s for kitten britches.
• Horse feathers.
• Speak in bullet points.
• Reduce it to the ridiculous.
• Learn to tee it up. Once you tee it up, you can knock it out of the park.
• Scares me and I’m fearless.
• It it were easy they wouldn’t pay us so much.
• You can say the same thing two different ways.
• He ran like a scolded dog.
• The client will always buy the most expensive thing they can afford.

Lessons you taught me

• How to drive: predicting the patterns of truckers, best time to change lanes, when to speed/not to speed, and driving in the snow.
• How to fish.
• How to start a fire.
• Showing affection to Mom over the years has given me a very healthy view of marriage and what a relationship between a husband and wife should look like.
• You and Mom knew the importance of building a strong foundation for us. Things that come to mind are Advent candles with the family, Bible Book-It, corn kernels for Thanksgiving, seeing family in Ohio every year, family hikes/camping trips, helping us get odd-jobs when we were young to develop a strong work ethic, [making] us participate in plays and choirs, [allowing] us to work VBS skits, and family vacations.
• You instilled in me a very healthy view of alcohol. You and Mom waited and waited and waited until we grew up for us to see either of you drink. There was never beer in the fridge, you never drank at events or special functions. It was a decision you made early and stuck to. Once I got older I remember the wine that came in the box but by that point I was mature enough to understand the difference between overindulging and simply having a glass of wine or beer. Very cool.
• Adventures in Odyssey—-priceless. Thank you  for spending hundreds of dollars on tapes (association when we were ten!) to teach us life-long Christian values. I constantly remember lessons I learned through Adventures and Odyssey and I can’t imagine what I would stand for without them.
• Constantly NAGGING me to keep my equipment and car serviced. It hasn’t sunk in completely yet but I’m working on it.
• Not allowing foul language or bad jokes–words reflect character.
• Conveying to us that the lines of communication are open. If we get in trouble, it’s okay to tell you. We can expect a reasonable response from you instead of you freaking out. It shows how much you love us.
• Walk up and down the stairs quietly, not like an elephant.
• Always close the door behind us, since we didn’t grow up in a barn.

Memories

• Ripping out the tree in the front yard with the Blazer.
• Driving to Covington to pick up my remote control airplane I bought on eBay.
• Water skiing on Lake Anna.
• I like the way your eyes are slightly unlevel because of your car wreck. It regularly reminds me of your near-death collision.
• After dinner all of us used to line up to break out of your Chinese Stronghold Chairhold. We would fight and struggle and after a huge amount of effort we would break free and then puff out our chest. Little did we know that you let us break free every time. When we were old enough to actually break free, you stopped doing the Chinese Stronghold Chairhold.
• All of our late-night conversations in the kitchen, either after appointments or watching football. I’ve always enjoyed listening while you reminisce about when you were younger, when you got Saved, and how you met Mom. We’ve discussed NAA, my future, our growth, Younglife, your Salvation, and the rest of our family.
• Rooting for UVa and not being a fair weather fan! We’ve been through it all: football, basketball, soccer, tennis. My memories of football games will last forever because it was always quantity time and quality time.
• When we were young, the evening would begin a lot like this: “When’s Dad getting home?” Mom: “Later this evening, he’s running appointments.” We would then sit at the top of the stairs and literally wait for you to walk through the door. You were always tired but we didn’t care! We wanted to hug you and tell you about our day!
• I loved keeping the fire going. That was our thing. Splitting the wood in the back, carrying it down the hill, stacking it inside the garage, and then filling the wood box every night. I watched you fill the stove every night before bed. I was amazed. When I checked it the next morning and saw a raging fire, I thought you were Superman. When I got older I realized you woke up at 6:30am to put more wood on the fire!
• Yard work Thanksgiving morning was a tradition. Other times of the year it was cutting grass, raking leaves, building the wall, shoveling snow, pulling weeds, and cleaning the gutters.
• I remember when you and Mom surprised me with the Snapper riding mower. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. That thing had a 28″ blade!
• We used to wake up early before school and go jogging. You, Susanna, and I were like a team, running around the circle in Keywest and then walking home gave us a chance to talk.
• I clearly and vividly remember when you and Mom sat the family down and explained it would be a very ‘humble’ Christmas that year. This taught me two things: 1.) credit card debt is not an acceptable alternative 2.) the more important meaning of Christmas. I am so thankful you and Mom taught me that lesson when I was young.
• We went fishing at Lake Anna and in the process I (somehow) caught a cat fish. I had no idea what to do with it, but you just grabbed it right off of the hook to the amazement of the folks we were with! You were also supposed to be working that day….
• Traveling to Hawaii was amazing. I was in 6th grade but I felt like I was in college….it was a great experience snorkeling, seeing the sites, great food, amazing hotel, meeting people like Andy Albright, and seeing you guys operate in your own element.
• Years ago, you took me to play tennis at Darden Towe after dinner one evening and you never played tennis before! But I loved it, and you care about what I care about. Thanks.
• On a specific family hike when I was little I ran way ahead of everyone else. Then I was too tired to walk back the way we came. I must have done something else bad that I can’t remember because you and Mom were mad, super mad. You beat every bit of energy out of me I had saved. I’ve learned to keep a better pace….
• Over the years, I’ve noticed a dramatic change in your response to emotional things. Patriotism, death, success stories, simply seeing an athlete accomplish something unattainable, weddings, and even unmemorable things that still provoked tears in some ways. You have come to appreciate and value life in a new, mature, and different way. Even the smaller things get you worked up; you get choked up just watching the big tennis finals when guys like Djokovic win.

You’ve done an excellent job as a father, son, brother, husband, and friend. Thanks for teaching me how to be a man who leans on God. Thanks for marrying an awesome woman. Happy Birthday!

-Adam-

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Links

The internet is powerful because of links- links to other sites, stories, articles, homemade rap videos, headlines, blogs, podcasts, pictures, Amazon, PDFs, eBooks, songs, archives.

We discover new ideas & information via links-content we wouldn’t have otherwise.

Links are antiques. They weren’t just invented. We have links online because links are real life and have been around forever. Links are people.

The more times you operate as a link (connecting people together) the more “hits” you will get.

To download this post as a pdf, click here

Real giving isn’t easy

Giving requires sacrifice. If it doesn’t then it’s just convenience.

“Thanks for giving me your last Starburst!”

“No problem, I don’t like that flavor anyway.”

That’s not special, that’s hurtful.

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The LunchBox Express Full Story

Owners Joey Young and Dan Heilberg

I sat down with Joey Young and Dan Heilberg (owners of the LunchBox Express) to get a proper perspective of one of the newest, coolest restaurants in Charlottesville. I wanted a full description of the food, atmosphere, menu, vision & future, and the reason behind their decision to go bricks and mortar.

Their menu includes wraps, burgers, wings, sandwiches, a deli, beer, bratwursts, cheesesteak, occasionally barbecue, and a few surprises…along with a to-go breakfast.

Their excitement and enthusiasm made for a fun interview. Check out their facebook page.

“You can get a bite to eat, drink a beer, chill, and watch some sports…bring your family…or go out with your co-workers after work. It’s a laid back homey atmosphere.” They also sell convenience items such as cigarettes, drinks, lottery tickets, candy, local jams, Mad Hatter, and even City trash stickers. “We’re a one-stop shop.”

“We’re not fast food, but we’re food fast. You can be in and out in 10, maybe 15 minutes, and you don’t have to sit down and be served.”

What’s their standard? ”Our food isn’t crazy fancy or expensive but it’s really high quality. We serve a really good burger and Philly cheesesteak.”

“We’re looking to get as much local stuff here as possible: food, bands, stand-up comedians, artists-we’re all about being local.”

David & Catherine Glover first enjoyed the LunchBox Express at Floyd Fest and have been impressed ever since. David had the Philly cheesesteak and Catherine ordered the Lisa Leslie Veggie Wrap.

David & Catherine Glover

“Really good and delicious. They are a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. The No Bull veggie burger and cheese burger are great choices, too.”

I asked them what makes The LunchBox unique and they agreed the location and food are difference makers.

“Great up-and-coming location, fresh food, simple, and enough variety. It’s just good.”

Skylar Stoddart is the most loyal customer by a mile. ”I’ve been here about ten times, it’s a good place to watch tv and relax. I ordered the Christi’s Bottom Bunzz Burger.”

Skylar Stoddart (left) and Dan Reilberg (right)

Recommendation: the deli.

Favorite beer: gotta love the local stuff but I like the Loose Cannon the most.

“A unique feature of The LunchBox is the community of friends and cool customers. I can’t wait for the outside backyard to open. You can get your grub and go, or stay as long as you like.”

I sat down with a group of four friends who were clearly having a good time and had just finished their meal. Here are some key phrases from our conversation:

Ryan Hill- BBQ: lots of flavor. “One-stop shop.”

Scott Keller-appetizers: chicken fingers, fries, and southwest egg roll. “Good food, good beer.”

Ryan Hill, Scott Keller, Brendan Regan, David Breen

Brendan Regan- The G.O.A.T. “Big city food and entertainment with a small town feel.”

David Breen- speechless

“The LunchBox is less expensive than most restaurants in Belmont with the same great atmosphere.”

The most exciting thing for these two guys is the backyard that will open as soon as Mother Nature warms up. “It’ll have a canopy, patio and chairs, VIP section, live bands, outside seating, music…it’s going to be a really great place to hang out and eat.”

Looking for an alternative to coffee shops? They have Wi-Fi, serve Shenandoah Joe, and get their donuts from Charlottesville’s favorite: Carpe Donut.

Weekly specials:
Meatless Monday
Taco Tuesday
Wings Wednesday
Two for Thursday
Philly Friday

In addition to good food and atmosphere, Dan and Joey have good staff as well.
Amity Madison and Jenna Fields are enthusiastic waitresses and add plenty of pizazz to the restaurant.
If you eat on Wednesday you might get lucky enough to see Amity wear the chicken costume.

Amity in the chicken suit

Jenna & Joey

Family time

Dan and Joey are keenly aware of the impact their relationships have had on starting their business.

“Our friends and family helped us so much that now we want to give back to them. We’re so thankful for them.”

When asked yes/no if they thought The LunchBox Express would be a local favorite within two years, 10 out of 10 customers said yes.

Dan and Joey

Joey & Dan

Ryan Hill, Scott Keller, Brendan Regan, David Breen

Amity in the chicken suit

Jenna & Joey

Family time

Skylar Stoddart and Dan Heilberg

Joey and Dan

David & Catherine Glover

Thanks to joyeuse photography and CvilleSaver

Journaling is worth it

It took me a year and a half but I recently finished my journal and started a new one. A lot has changed since July 2010…

Instead of getting emotionally reminiscent I’ll simply say this:

Please keep a journal for yourself. Ask your parents if they have one. If they don’t, ask if they wish they do. If they do, ask if it’s been worth it.

Life is like a rubber band. Every time you stretch it, it goes back to its original size but it’s always stretched just a little bit more than before. Journals help you see the stretch marks.

-A

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If I owned a restuarant

Each table would have a log (could be notebook paper) that records every customer’s order. And I would never edit it.

When the customer asked me for my recommendation, I would point to the log and say, “check what the person before you ordered.”

After every meal, each person would fill out their name, the date, what they ordered, drink…etc. If they so desire, I’d let them get creative and supply pens, crayons, and colored pencils.

The log would grow to several sheets of paper- I’d keep every page.

And the few customers who resist the log? That’s fine, I’m ok if they don’t want to come back.

-A

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Fire

Warmest place on a cold night when you’re camping? Next to the fire.

As soon as you walk away you can immediately feel the cold. Return to the fire and you’re warm again.

Best friends are fires. So are books, conferences, church, instruments, your journal, and mentors.

You gotta stay close to stay warm.

-A

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Another average carsalesman who needs training

I went car shopping over the weekend (not for myself, don’t worry Hyundai lovers) so I took some mental notes about the two salesmen….

The 1st never asked

why?

what are you using it for?

what’s your budget?

what features do you want?

what matters to you?

He stood with us the whole time. To quote Dick, “tell an emotional story, then leave the table.” It gives buyers time to make a decision without pressure. He didn’t do either.

The 2nd guy at CarMax was much better because they train their agents. Surprised?

No typo in title. Unfortunately, it seems like the negative connotation of a carsalesman has caused it to become a new, commonly miss-pronounced new word.

-A

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“Too Long!” (Bo’sun gets impatient in Pirates of the Caribbean)

I often use too many words when I speak. I’m affected by the same evil love as everyone else: my own voice.

But a well-chosen word can say more than 20 empty ones.

That guy talked the whole conversation but never said anything.

I bet the best communicator you know uses the least amount of words possible.

instead of

Something I’ve learned about myself and just about everyone else is that I love my own voice. It’s not good. I use way too many words when I describe something, give an explanation, or just carry on a normal conversation.

But choosing your words carefully and thoughtfully can replace the twenty words you don’t think through but just say off the top of your head.

That guy talked the whole conversation but never said anything.

If you know someone who is really good at explaining a topic, can communicate extremely well, or you enjoy hearing him/her speak, then they probably don’t use a lot of words when they talk.

-A

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Red-Nosed Sylvester the Cat

In the past two days I’ve received three full audiobooks and twenty three songs at no cost from eMusic.com and audible.com.

How? Start a free trial, get all the free stuff, and then cancel before it expires and they’ve charged your card.

It’s not dishonest. The companies expect me to do that. They also know they can’t beat the numbers.

In other words, they know some people will do what I did, others will forget to cancel their subscription and get charged without knowing, and some will actually like the service and become a customer.

Don’t get hung up on the free stuff, though.

-A

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Stop Running

Recently I was running and my shin (yes, shin) started to cramp. Very strange.

Anyway, I was tempted (and I even tried) to run faster, longer…which made it worse. But the cramp remained.

It caused me to think: Why do we stick with something for too long and add to the pain by doing more of the wrong thing?

The only way to make my shin better was to stop running and start over.

-A

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Eye on the red dot

In archery, while shooting an arrow, it’s hard to know how accurate you’re going to be until the arrow actually reaches the target- because before you release the arrow it’s only a hair off. Only an expert could feel the slightest error.

Being a hair off might not be a significant problem at five yards away but at fifty yards it could mean you miss the target completely.

The habits you choose each day make you. In the immediate future bad habits might not seem like a big deal but over time the distance gets greater, the slight error becomes magnified, and they’ll eventually cause you to miss your target completely.

The good news is that good habits enable you to hit the bullseye.

-A

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Teach Me, Expert

Squidoo, a website created by Seth Godin, is a platform for anyone to share their knowledge of expertise to anyone. (ex: if you need help tying a bow tie, you could learn here.)

His goal? encourage users to write their story: what they know best, their expertise, passion, knowledge, interest, obsession, hobby.

If you search something that’s never been asked for, it challenges you to write the 1st article.

what could you write about?

-A

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Breaking the Rules for Slice

You may have heard the saying, “If you have a good meal at a restaurant you’ll tell one person. Have a bad meal, and you’ll tell ten.”

Well, there’s exceptions to everything, and I’m breaking the rules.

Slice Pizza at Barracks Road-owned and operated by Chris Herring. Best darn NY style pizza in Charlottesville. Go get some. You can even order online. And tell Chris I sent you (he’ll teach you how to eat it right.)

There you go. I just told hundreds.

-A

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Open for Change

Here’s something (I think) I learned three years ago but recently became consciously aware.

Feedback from others is the catalyst of change.

Feedback comes in all shapes and sizes so learn to recognize it:

•  your mom’s smile when she discovers you cleaned the kitchen before she asked
•  the ticked off look from your dad when his tool is missing-and you lost it
•  third-party: watching a sales person get ‘no’ due to his terrible people skills-chances are you have a few of those same traits

Don’t ignore critics- they dish out the best feedback. I’m thankful for the 7th grade bully who “ruined my life” by making fun of my unibrow. Glad I learned that lesson early.

Live each day looking for suggestions. Posture yourself so people know you welcome feedback.

If you want to be a person of change then your attitude and tone must express your eagerness to change. If people know you accept [good or bad] feedback well then they’ll offer theirs. How marvelous!

So let your reactions (negative) and your responses (positive) be calm and pleasant so people don’t hesitate the next time they want to suggest something.

Otherwise, you’ll be the only one in the group who doesn’t know your zipper is down.

–

Thanks, Dad, for inspiring this post without knowing it. You’re the best.

-A

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Long Lost Notes

I recently discovered this random list of notes I wrote over a year ago for several different books (as you can tell) I was reading at the time…I don’t type my notes often so these are a rarity.
Although they create a much longer post than usual, I chose to leave them as is: no editing, no context. Just raw content.

Hope you enjoy

• Success leaves clues-watch what successful people do- Jim Rohn
• Life is what happens to you when you’re planning on doing something else
• You don’t win points doing something the hard way- Guy Kawasaki
• Preach the gospel at all times- if necessary use words
• Peter the Great of Russia carried a club with him to beat people to make them speed up. He was 6’7”
• What did you do yesterday to ensure that today is a masterpiece? What will you do today to ensure tomorrow is one?
• Learning is a change of behavior, not a change in knowledge.
• Commitment means that you are willing to grow personally and organizationally regardless of the cost. And it’s those last four words that stop most leaders in their tracks and relegate them to pitiable windbags and wimps who routinely talk right and then walk left.
• When your memories are greater than your dreams your days are numbered.
• Asking easy questions allows the person to respond effortlessly
• What weren’t you willing to do to make it happen?

Success:

1. Business
2. Wealth
3. Relationships
4. Well Being
5. Making a difference

• When giving praise, be definite
• Never gossip
• Emotions are not responsive to reason
• Bring other’s emotions out into the open as much as possible
• While in conversation always pause even if you know what you’re about to say

Interpersonal Operations:

1. Building up one’s self
2. Attacking others
3. Making demands
4. Controlling
5. Expressing love

5 Laws of Being a Go-Giver:

1. Value- Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
2. Compensation- Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
3. Influence- Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.
4. Authenticity- The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
5. Receptivity- The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.

• Rich people manage their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well.
• You must be paid for your performance and results, not for your time.
• The peace you want for yourself, want it more for others than you want it for yourself.
• No one can make a fool of you without your consent.
• Success is doing what the failures won’t do.
• Remember to define your words to avoid misconceptions.
• In conversation, give feedback to make sure you’re thinking the same as the other person.
• Your listener’s attention will be held when what you say is useful, easy to grasp, and worth the time it takes to tell it.
• In conversation, you can’t stop others from speaking irrelevance. But you can make sure what you say is relevant.
• 20 seconds==attention span.
• When describing something, only use 2 adjectives. 3 are too many.

Methods for Holding Attention:

1. Stick to the point
2. Space your ideas by keeping your speeches short. This gives your listener time to think about each idea as it is presented.
3. Don’t tell the other person what he already knows. Repeat your meaning but not your words, and avoid saying the obvious.
4. Use concrete words whenever possible. Whenever you use abstract words illustrate them through the use of concrete ones.

I wrote this using HTML

-A

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Relay Foods and Amazon are Winners

Word of mouth is the best form of advertising that exists. If an info commercial tells me to buy the Ripped Abs Miracle Worker I’m going to ignore it. But if a friend tries it, likes it, and recommends it to me, I’ll be more likely to buy it.

With that said, here are my recommendations I want to share with you:

Relay Foods is a new business in Charlottesville that does your grocery shopping for you. All you have to do is pay for your items online and then go pick up your order at one of their convenient locations. I decided to try it out this week. This is what I liked:

• Convenience- I bought all my regular groceries online and then picked them up right after work on my way home. I normally have to drive across town to Whole Foods to get peanut butter but not anymore.

• Simple- The website is very easy to use and makes logical sense.

• Free-Relay doesn’t charge for the services. You don’t get sale prices but it’s worth it because you don’t have to drive all over town.

• They struck me as being really nice (not too nice) folks. The delivery guy was my age with a beard. I mean come on.

This company is not just for “someone else”. GO TO THEIR SITE. DON’T JUDGE IT. CHECK IT OUT.

Amazon Subscribe and Save is great for buying lifestyle items you use on a regular basis.

• Things like toothbrushes, deodorant, mouthwash, Ritz crackers, Mac and Cheese, cereal, and other non-perishables are all discounted.

• Cheaper than buying at the local grocery store (I know, keep your money local-but maybe local stores should get online….)

• Sign up, cancel anytime, and reap the benefits of low prices.

• Amazon ships your stuff to your door on a consistent basis. Genius.

I’ve used both services and give them an A+.

-Adam-

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Bedrock Sandals

I recently learned about a new project called Bedrock Sandals, by Nick Pence and Dan Opalacz. They’ve designed a pair of minimalist walking and hiking sandals that have loads of potential.

These are ideal for barefoot (almost) running and hiking. The current barefoot running shoes look ridiculous (although the people who wear them don’t care) so Bedrock is a brilliant alternative.

They come in 13 different colors and look cool.

They needed $2,500 to launch–they past that mark easily in less than a week. Now they’re in bonus land. If you pledge $35 they’ll give you a free pair and some other cool stuff. You can pledge $10 also.

You heard it here first. Do these guys a favor and spread the word.

-Adam-

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For Musician’s Eyes Only

Social media has become a very popular and common platform for budding musicians who are trying to share their passions with others. The idea is this: upload enough free content, reply to everyone’s comments, post your links all over cyberspace, get tons of fans, and eventually you’ll have agents knocking on your door.

But what you don’t understand is that it’s really the opposite.

Social media was designed to be the destination to which real fans can funnel their energy. The reason consumers “like” a page is because they’ve already had the “liking” experience. They attended the coffee shop gig. Got the autograph. Bought the merch.

If you will stop caring so much about number of hits each day, and actually perform, the number of hits will take care of itself.

If you want more online followers then make a cool sign, hang it above your stage, and make a big announcement about your Facebook page at the end of each night. But honestly, if people actually like you, they won’t need a fancy sign to persuade them to type your name into Google.

Free content, blog posts, and tweet pics are important but they’re only fuel to the fire. Without actual performance, there is no fire. And the only way to start a fire is by performing.

“But it’s so much harder than it sounds.”

So? If your passion really is changing lives with your music then it doesn’t matter how hard it is.

This one’s for free: perform! Do what you do best: share your passion! But do it onstage, not online.

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Is Your Work Valuable?

If you are looking for a job or currently have a job, then you should ask yourself this question: Is the work I’m doing for my employer worth what I’m getting paid?

The phrase “I don’t do anything at my job. It’s easy, I just sit around….it’s great!” is becoming less popular as the business world changes. Now, you are being measured by the value of your work-not whether or not you show up. Robots show up. Humans bring value.

Value can be emotional, statistical, logical, helpful, and physical. Innovation always brings value.

If you were the boss, what would you want you to do?

-Adam-

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BGC Shirts: Lessons Learned

Often I’m asked about the Big Guy Club shirts I marketed and sold over a year ago. The bottom line is this: my critics were right; it didn’t work. But what I learned from the endeavor was priceless. Personal experience usually is….

Lesson #1: Price. They were too expensive. Woopie. Let’s move on.

Lesson #2: My goal (which I didn’t realize until now) was to put a price tag on an idea. That idea was the BGC. People liked it. Some loved it. The idea of being in the BGC became viral; as soon as it was mentioned every guy in the room became infected. The idea was spread by attitude and a little bit of humor. The BGC was NOT a joke, but it kind of was. You see? Curiosity and unity were the catalysts.

What I attempted to do was materialize the idea. For example, the idea of a lax bro has become very popular. But if someone was to start marketing lax bro t shirts, it wouldn’t work. Why? Because we love the idea of a lax bro. We like pointing one out, acting like one, saying lax bro phrases. It’s viral. T shirts are not. No one is willing to pay for lax bro gear because it doesn’t give them any more ability to be apart of the lax bro movement.

Same with the BGC. The shirts became obsolete the moment they existed because they didn’t add to the phenomenon.

I didn’t learn how to effectively sell a product; but I certainly learned how to spread an idea.

-Adam-

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Tribute to Dad

Today is your birthday Dad…. You make me glad I’m your son.

Favorite sayings

• You make me glad I’m a dad.
• He won’t have the guts to do that again.
• You can eat an elephant one bite at a time.
• All I’m doing is fishing; if the bobber goes down, I’ll reel it in. If it doesn’t, I don’t care.
• It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.
• Pole Cat!
• Before our meeting they would pepper me with objections. I would stand in front of a mirror for hours. When I drove to see your mother before we got married, I would talk to myself and overcome at least 40 objections…. I started to feel bad for the client!
• The client buys on emotion, he keeps it in force with logic.
• You always close with an emotional story.
• You can tell me…I’m your dad.
• Have you ever kissed a girl as long as you wanted….?
• We can’t buy a basket right now.
• He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.
• I’ll be on you like ugly on ape.
• If you find a wife half as good as your mother you’ll be in good shape.
• He couldn’t sell guns in a prison riot.
• If you don’t see them you can’t sell them. (Charlie Schoolcraft)
• Cat fur’s for kitten britches.
• Horse feathers.
• Speak in bullet points.
• Reduce it to the ridiculous.
• Learn to tee it up. Once you tee it up, you can knock it out of the park.
• Scares me and I’m fearless.
• It it were easy they wouldn’t pay us so much.
• You can say the same thing two different ways.
• He ran like a scolded dog.
• The client will always buy the most expensive thing they can afford.

Lessons you taught me

• How to drive: predicting the patterns of truckers, best time to change lanes, when to speed/not to speed, and driving in the snow.
• How to fish.
• How to start a fire.
• Showing affection to Mom over the years has given me a very healthy view of marriage and what a relationship between a husband and wife should look like.
• You and Mom knew the importance of building a strong foundation for us. Things that come to mind are Advent candles with the family, Bible Book-It, corn kernels for Thanksgiving, seeing family in Ohio every year, family hikes/camping trips, helping us get odd-jobs when we were young to develop a strong work ethic, [making] us participate in plays and choirs, [allowing] us to work VBS skits, and family vacations.
• You instilled in me a very healthy view of alcohol. You and Mom waited and waited and waited until we grew up for us to see either of you drink. There was never beer in the fridge, you never drank at events or special functions. It was a decision you made early and stuck to. Once I got older I remember the wine that came in the box but by that point I was mature enough to understand the difference between overindulging and simply having a glass of wine or beer. Very cool.
• Adventures in Odyssey—-priceless. Thank you  for spending hundreds of dollars on tapes (association when we were ten!) to teach us life-long Christian values. I constantly remember lessons I learned through Adventures and Odyssey and I can’t imagine what I would stand for without them.
• Constantly NAGGING me to keep my equipment and car serviced. It hasn’t sunk in completely yet but I’m working on it.
• Not allowing foul language or bad jokes–words reflect character.
• Conveying to us that the lines of communication are open. If we get in trouble, it’s okay to tell you. We can expect a reasonable response from you instead of you freaking out. It shows how much you love us.
• Walk up and down the stairs quietly, not like an elephant.
• Always close the door behind us, since we didn’t grow up in a barn.

Memories

• Ripping out the tree in the front yard with the Blazer.
• Driving to Covington to pick up my remote control airplane I bought on eBay.
• Water skiing on Lake Anna.
• I like the way your eyes are slightly unlevel because of your car wreck. It regularly reminds me of your near-death collision.
• After dinner all of us used to line up to break out of your Chinese Stronghold Chairhold. We would fight and struggle and after a huge amount of effort we would break free and then puff out our chest. Little did we know that you let us break free every time. When we were old enough to actually break free, you stopped doing the Chinese Stronghold Chairhold.
• All of our late-night conversations in the kitchen, either after appointments or watching football. I’ve always enjoyed listening while you reminisce about when you were younger, when you got Saved, and how you met Mom. We’ve discussed NAA, my future, our growth, Younglife, your Salvation, and the rest of our family.
• Rooting for UVa and not being a fair weather fan! We’ve been through it all: football, basketball, soccer, tennis. My memories of football games will last forever because it was always quantity time and quality time.
• When we were young, the evening would begin a lot like this: “When’s Dad getting home?” Mom: “Later this evening, he’s running appointments.” We would then sit at the top of the stairs and literally wait for you to walk through the door. You were always tired but we didn’t care! We wanted to hug you and tell you about our day!
• I loved keeping the fire going. That was our thing. Splitting the wood in the back, carrying it down the hill, stacking it inside the garage, and then filling the wood box every night. I watched you fill the stove every night before bed. I was amazed. When I checked it the next morning and saw a raging fire, I thought you were Superman. When I got older I realized you woke up at 6:30am to put more wood on the fire!
• Yard work Thanksgiving morning was a tradition. Other times of the year it was cutting grass, raking leaves, building the wall, shoveling snow, pulling weeds, and cleaning the gutters.
• I remember when you and Mom surprised me with the Snapper riding mower. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. That thing had a 28″ blade!
• We used to wake up early before school and go jogging. You, Susanna, and I were like a team, running around the circle in Keywest and then walking home gave us a chance to talk.
• I clearly and vividly remember when you and Mom sat the family down and explained it would be a very ‘humble’ Christmas that year. This taught me two things: 1.) credit card debt is not an acceptable alternative 2.) the more important meaning of Christmas. I am so thankful you and Mom taught me that lesson when I was young.
• We went fishing at Lake Anna and in the process I (somehow) caught a cat fish. I had no idea what to do with it, but you just grabbed it right off of the hook to the amazement of the folks we were with! You were also supposed to be working that day….
• Traveling to Hawaii was amazing. I was in 6th grade but I felt like I was in college….it was a great experience snorkeling, seeing the sites, great food, amazing hotel, meeting people like Andy Albright, and seeing you guys operate in your own element.
• Years ago, you took me to play tennis at Darden Towe after dinner one evening and you never played tennis before! But I loved it, and you care about what I care about. Thanks.
• On a specific family hike when I was little I ran way ahead of everyone else. Then I was too tired to walk back the way we came. I must have done something else bad that I can’t remember because you and Mom were mad, super mad. You beat every bit of energy out of me I had saved. I’ve learned to keep a better pace….
• Over the years, I’ve noticed a dramatic change in your response to emotional things. Patriotism, death, success stories, simply seeing an athlete accomplish something unattainable, weddings, and even unmemorable things that still provoked tears in some ways. You have come to appreciate and value life in a new, mature, and different way. Even the smaller things get you worked up; you get choked up just watching the big tennis finals when guys like Djokovic win.

 

You’ve done an excellent job as a father, son, brother, husband, and friend. Thanks for teaching me how to be a man who leans on God. Thanks for marrying an awesome woman. Happy Birthday!

-Adam-

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Quick Thought on Time

A phrase we hear often is I didn’t have time or I’m not going to have time.

Oh really, when did God shorten your day to 20 hours?

The truth is we all have the same amount of time; we simply choose to spend it doing things most important to us.

I like the principle of packing luggage. We always put the biggest things in first (same thing applies to packing anything, like your car) and then fill in the rest of the space with the small stuff- it makes sense.

But why do we know this principle so well yet ignore it in our lives?

So often we spend all day doing the little things which never leave enough time for the big (important) things.

The little things will always take as much time as you let them.

So actually, everyone has equal amounts of time but each person has different priorities.

Therefore, the phrase we really should be saying is something like this I DO have time but I’m going to spend it doing something more important. Sorry.

Revised/Added February 4, 2011

It’s important to block off time and commit to it. If you tell someone you have a block from 1pm-3pm to meet, make sure you leave at 3pm-no later. This does a few things:

1. Makes it clear that you have two hours. They will actually look at their watch more than you. Don’t be afraid to look at yours. Watch, not cell phone.
2. Builds value in the time you spend with them.
3. Conveys you need to be efficient, otherwise you must finish the conversation later.
4. Shows them you do the same thing with others. If they know you’re leaving their meeting to go see someone else on time, they will trust you’ll do the same thing for them.

I’m not saying you must give every relationship specific blocks of time. I think there is a ton of value in having a semi-open schedule so you can have spontaneous hang outs. But when it comes down to meetings, arrive and leave on time.

-Adam-

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My 2011 Book List

Now you may follow along with me this year if you’d like, but keep in mind that I don’t plan on reading them in order. I left room for surprises/recommendations throughout the year because you always need some margin.

1. Principal of the Path- Andy Stanley
2. The 10 Rules of Sam Walton- Michael Berghdahl
3. 8 Steps to Success- Andy Albright
4. I’ve Got Your Back- Brad Gilbert
5. Diaries of Jim Rayburn- edited by Kit Sublett
6. Good to Great- Jim Collins
7. The Greatest Miracle in the World- Og Mandino
8. Up Your Business- Dave Anderson
9. Hole in the Gospel- Richard Stearns
10. The Dip- Seth Godin
11. The Grace of God- Andy Stanley
12. It: How Churches and Leaders Can Get It and Keep It- Craig Groeschel
13. The Reason for God- Timothy Keller
14. Desiring God- John Piper
15. The Art of Influence- Chris Widener
16. The Automatic Millionaire- David Bach
17. Crush It!:Why NOW is the Time to Cash in on Your Passion- Gary Vaynerchuck

Do you have a recommendation? I often place my friends’ recommendations at the top of my list….

-Adam-

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2010 MVP The Path Principal

The Most Valuable Principal I learned in 2010 is The Principal of the Path. Andy Stanley teaches this principal and most of the following material is his.

The Principal of the Path says this: Direction determines your destination. Direction, NOT intention, determines your destination.  Whatever road you’re on, that road determines your destination. If you live in Virginia you can’t drive East on I-64 and get to California. It applies to your financial path, dating life, profession, health, marriage, and any other path you’re on.

Everyone knows that if you eat lots of fatty foods you’re going to get fat- whether that was your intention or not. Destination, NOT intention, determines destination. Your intention might be to become financially secure but you rack up a lot of consumer debt. Your path (behavior) has a predetermined outcome.

I want to earn the trust of my parents so I’m going to have reckless parties on the weekends. That’s not how it works. It’s a path. Every path has a very predictable destination.

I want my marriage to be really strong so I’m going to chat on Facebook after work every night and ignore my husband. No! You can’t have both.

You often notice this in your friend’s life, don’t you? Your friend has gained 40 pounds and you’ve watched him eat nothing but junk for the past nine months. As you’re listening to him complain, you’re probably thinking to yourself, “What did you expect? That’s the destination to the path you chose.”

Here’s the key: the destination is always the same! You’re always going to get fat. You’re always going to lose respect. You’re always going to get in debt. You’re always going to have a terrible marriage. The outcome is so predictable! This is why so many psychologists and therapists guess your problems before you tell them; because your path (behavior) is similar to their prior 50 bazillion clients before you! It’s so predictable.

What path are you on? What destination is ahead for you if you don’t change your path? Do you like what you see? It’s not too late. Ask yourself which predictable outcomes you like and which you don’t, and switch paths soon because your direction trumps your intention every time.

[Stanley uses Proverbs 6-7 to establish a foundation for the principal. I didn't expand because this post is long enough]

-Adam-

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Kids Are Expert Salespeople

I have a five-year old cousin named Sarah. We played together during our visit over Christmas.

I’m the youngest of my parents’ six children. I’ve never played with little kids. I don’t babysit. I’m never around little kids…which is why this occasion was so special.

She would pull my hand and lead me around the house. We played games. Silly, young, easy games. All she wanted to do was play with “Adam.” I haven’t colored in years. We cut paper into tiny little pieces (for a very good reason; we were going to give them to people as presents, of course) and colored them 18 different shades of pink.

She had a hole-punch of a star and a squiggly. But she couldn’t punch it; it was too strong for her. She thought I was Hercules when she saw me punch out three squigglies all at once…

The funniest part was when I was playing keep-away with her toy drumsticks. I would hold them above her head and she would immediately start making up her own rules.

“You can’t use that hand.”

“You have to close your eyes.”

For years I’ve heard people say that children are the best salespeople. I never knew why but I assumed it was true. Now I know why. Every time I stopped coloring she would look up and act like I was crazy.

“Why aren’t you coloring!?” She wouldn’t take no for an answer! I had to keep coloring. I didn’t have a choice!

In sales, we need to be like a five-year old girl who has no boundaries, no pre-conceived notions, and thinks there is only one way to do things: my way.

-Adam-

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Top Five Books 2010

It’s almost 2011, so here’s a review of my favorite books I read this year

1.) Linchpin by Seth Godin

Seth Godin is an excellent writer, blogger, CEO, and speaker. He studies and understands the importance of being a “linchpin” in the marketplace. This book is the toughest book I’ve read to describe to others. He uses some-what abstract concepts, words, and phrases to convey his message. It seems to speak directly to the reader; and no one else.

2.) From Bondage to Liberty, Dance, Children, Dance by Jim Rayburn III

Jim Rayburn is the founder of Younglife. But he wouldn’t call himself that. Jim’s son, Jim Rayburn III, wrote the book to give a very factual, unbiased account of his dad’s life. I laughed, I cried, and was challenged immensely. The stories in this book are phenomenal. The stories are worth the read, if not for anything else.

3.) The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

I’ve written about this book several times. I’ve raved, shouted from the rooftop. You must read this book. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen are the same authors of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. They write about the importance of asking questions. The more people I talk to who have been where I want to be ask better questions than I do. Jesus asked questions; shouldn’t you? The Aladdin Factor has changed my life.

4.) Many Communicate, Few Connect by John C. Maxwell

The reason I like this book so much is because Maxwell puts into words what I’ve been thinking since I graduated from high school. Relationships are based on connecting with others. Communicating isn’t good enough, we must connect. He parallels connecting 1-on-1 with public speaking- I really like that.

5.) Open: An Autobiography by Andre Agassi

Andre’s book is a blast to read. It’s definitely my favorite 2010 autobiography (I’ve read several.) It’s up close and personal. He’s honest, open, and he connects with the reader. He also takes the reader through a lot of his matches. He captures your emotions by writing about his romantic life, physical training, funny stories, victory speeches, attitude towards his rivals, and how much he hates tennis. I enjoyed this book the most.

-Adam-

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Pictures [My All-Time Favorites]

No specific order

-Adam-

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Rhetorical Question

What do you think about first when you wake up each morning?

-Adam-

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Miscellaneous

• Write things down so you remember
• There’s exceptions to everything
• You can’t steer a parked car
• When in doubt just shake hands
• Appealing a traffic ticket in court never works
• If you like her because she likes you, it’ll never work out
• Do for one person what you wish you could do for everyone
• Always say goodbye
• Remember names
• Valuing money less than as others does not mean you have a broke mindset
• Before sending an angry email, sleep on it
• NO usually helps you manage. YES usually leads to adventure
• Manipulation never works
• Doing good stuff does not get you a ticket to Heaven
• Keep a journal of your life
• Being too cool is so lame
• People shouldn’t judge you based on your appearance…but they do
• Shave in the morning before a big date; not thirty minutes before

-Adam-

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No-Knowledge

No one pays attention when you know something; they notice when you don’t know. Haven’t you ever tried to show off your amazing piece of knowledge and nobody cared? But when everyone in the group except you knew the answer you looked foolish? It’s not what you know, it’s what you don’t know that’s important (no-knowledge.)

You can’t compete with the group if you haven’t read the book. You can’t have a brilliant discussion about the speaker if you missed the conference. You can’t swoon over Harry’s physique if you haven’t seen The Deathly Hallows. The things you don’t know define you.

How can you apply what you haven’t learned? How can you grow if you haven’t experienced? If you haven’t read the Bible, how will you apply what’s inside? If you aren’t taking advantage of the gazillion amounts of free resources online then you aren’t reaching your goal; which is lessening the amount of your no-knowledge. Our amount of no-knowledge is far greater than what we do know. The goal is to get that number as close to zero as you can.

-Adam-

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New Web Browser RockMelt is Legit

If there’s a new product that’s good and beneficial, then I want everyone to know about it.

That’s why I’m plugging RockMelt- a new web browser which has focused most of its features on Social Networking.

It has an excellent search engine, if you use Chrome you’ll love it, FireFox users (that was me) can import their FireFox settings.

www.rockmelt.com should get you there. If not, just Google it, you’ll find it.

If you have any experience with RockMelt leave a comment: what do you think?

-Adam-

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The Giving Principal

The Giving Principal

You Can Only Give What You Have—- it can be good or bad.

Let’s pretend Person A receives a lot of encouragement. His friends encourage him, so do his coworkers, classmates, parents, siblings, teammates, his boss. That MUST mean he has encouragement.

Person B receives a lot of discouragement; all his friends, family, and coworkers discourage him.

What do you think Person A and Person B will likely give to others?  Exactly.

But it gets deeper. Earlier I said it’s a good and bad, here’s why:

What are you receiving? Are you receiving encouragement or discouragement? Are you reading mindless teenage romance novels? That’s what you’re going to give. Are you reading magazines that do nothing but tear people down? You’re going to tear people down. Are you spending time with people who make bad decisions? You’ll start making bad decisions.

But it’s your choice, so receive good things. Read books that inspire you to help people. Read magazines that tell stories about people who lay down their lives for others. Associate with friends who are wiser than you.

Joyful people are the best. They give joy. But what about the person who just coasts through life without purpose, direction, or identity? The person who doesn’t have much of anything?

You may think “Oh, they just don’t give anything.” No, they give nothing. You give what you have. Having nothing = giving nothing.

Do you want to give joy? Or give nothing?

-Adam-

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Remove The Blinders

“Discover your strengths and implement them in the path you take.”

“Realize what you love to do, and find something that involves your passions.”

“Everybody is great at something; figure out what your greatness is.”

…..but what if all your greatness/strengths/passions/gifts don’t apply to what you want to do?

….what if what you’re good at isn’t what you want to be good at it?

….do you do it anyway?

These are questions only you can answer. Be aware of this: you may have your sights set on a certain path, whether it’s a career, family plans, personal goals, or any other life path. But as you take a closer look at your life you may begin to realize you aren’t blossoming in your desired areas. In fact, you’re failing.

But while you’re reviewing your life, you begin to realize you have a completely different path forming in your periphery. It may even be a path you don’t want to take. You might wish it wasn’t even an option; but as you go on; you gravitate closer and closer. You start doing better and better, while still failing on the path so precious to you. Eventually you can’t deny it: you are becoming great in an area against your will and you can’t resist it.

What do you do? There are two paths; two destinations.

Change your direction. Take the path in which you are excelling (why keep failing?)** This new path may lead you to a great destination. Now you’re a different person. You have NEW+IMPROVED+DIFFERENT strengths/desires/passions/gifts. Now, if you go back to your first path, instead of failing you may succeed.

**[Often failure is good. This is bad failure.]

-Adam-

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The Price Tag of Success

The price tag for failure is greater than the price tag for success. The price increases the closer to the top. It never decreases. The price must be paid continually. The price is great. No one said it would be easy; just worth it. Don’t be scared of success; be scared of failure.

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The Catalyst

While reading The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork by John C. Maxwell, his 6th chapter really stuck out. It’s called “The Law of the Catalyst.”  He says a team must have a catalyst: a player who makes things happen or has a get-it-done mentality. Everyone is on some kind of team. Think of a team you are on and start to implement some of his advice. Most of this is from John Maxwell’s book.

He uses this analogy:in a basketball game when the clock is ticking down, there are three kinds of people on your team:

People who don’t want the ball–these people have strengths; discover them and have them work in those instead.

People who want the ball but shouldn’t- this often involves ego. Again, help them find their strengths.

People who want the ball and should- these players will deliver results in the toughest situations.

He says there are 9 characteristics of a catalyst.

1. Intuitive- they recognize their strengths and ‘smell’ opportunities to shine in them.
2. Communicative- Churchill, Roosevelt, and Kennedy were communicative. They used words to convey their vision, purpose, plan, and dream to their team. In return, their team members responded positively and with action.
3. Passionate- some players’ passions are so strong that they can inspire the rest of the team. Pete Rose said “It’s when his enthusiasm goes that he’s through as a player.” …and as a catalyst.
4. Talented- every winning team requires talent. John Wooden said you have to have a lot of talent to win. There is no replacement. Talented players help others perform better.  You cannot give what you do not have.
5. Creative- Carl Mays said “creativity involves taking what you have, where you are, and getting the most out of it.” A team player striving to bring new things to the table can often catapult a team ahead to their goals.
6. Initiating- so many teams have great thoughts, ideas, new ways of thinking, or want to take the team a different direction. But it takes initiative and discipline to put those things into action. A catalyst takes a new idea and makes it happen.
7. Responsible- catalysts don’t recommend a course of action (consultant)–they take responsibility for making it happen.
8. Generous-all success begins with a gift. Catalysts often give up to produce the best result for their team (often called sacrifice.)
9. Influential- influence is a product of good character. Bill Hybels wrote a book about it called Who You Are When No One’s Looking. High levels of integrity will naturally push you ahead of the pack.

Don’t get discouraged if you’re thinking, “I can’t call myself a 10 about any of those. I’m not even a 7-8!” If you want to improve yourself on some of the qualities of a catalyst, here is what Maxwell recommends:

1. Find a mentor who already makes things happen. A mentor is someone who has already been where you want to be.
2. Begin a growth plan that will force you to develop and grow your skills and talents.
3. Get out of your comfort zone–force yourself to perform in unfamiliar situations. Go beyond where you’ve been before.

-Adam-

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Silent Advice is the Best Kind

Advice is a tough thing to tackle. Everyone loves their own voice. I’m beginning to realize when I try to give someone good advice it usually falls on dead ears. I don’t blame them. Usually we cringe when someone (anyone) starts telling us what they think is best. Here’s a clue: if they already tell you things which they need answers, that probably means they trust you. Don’t ruin it.

You ruin it by not asking them questions. You ruin it by not thinking through your response- you let whatever floods your mind roll off your tongue. You could ruin it by simply opening your mouth. 9 times out of 10 they just want someone to listen. This concept is well-known: “I just needed someone who would listen to me.”

Often when you give someone good advice you don’t even realize it. Has someone ever come up to you and said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said and it makes a lot of sense. Thanks.” And you have no idea what you said? John C. Maxwell said something like, “The best conversationalists listen a lot, ask questions, and never say anything.”

Start doing this: ask them questions- let them come up with the golden nugget that you so desperately want to tell them yourself. If you come up with it, it goes in one ear and out the next. If they come up with it, it’s genius.

Don’t force advice. Usually, if you find yourself simply giving advice, you’re probably just being irritating.

-Adam-

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The Importance of a Correct Priority List

A good thing to do with your busy schedule is to make a list of all your important things and rank them from highest to lowest priority- you know this. It helps you determine which things you value*. If things come up in your life (we all have things come up as a surprise) you can use your list of priorities as a measuring stick to determine if the new thing ranks high or low. The issue is this: once you rank them, are you right?

You may think you know what your highest priority is, but you probably have 2-3 other things that are actually more important or equally important. How will this mess you up if something comes up out of the blue and your list is out of whack? You may agree to take part in something even though you shouldn’t. If your priorities are in the right order, this won’t happen.

Lastly, if you have a big decision to make between two big things, the tendency is to say,”they’re both equally important.” But that’s impossible. One is always more important. So if you tell yourself one has to be more important your mind will start finding the difference. But if you keep whining, “they’re the same,” then your mind will justify it and make it much too difficult for you.

*[You determine what you value by where you spend your time.]

-Adam-

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The Law of Value

In their book, The Go-Giver, Bob Burg and John David Mann tell a great story about a man who learns 5 laws that will change his life professionally, financially, personally, and spiritually. I want to tell you about one.

Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.

This is a true statement. If you cut grass for a living and you have a set price for each client, you can only take the specified amount. But how much can you give in value? As much as you want. If a goal in your life is to add more value to people than you take, you will be a happier and more enjoyable person to be with.

But where does the rubber meet the road? Do you breeze through your school work? Do you treat clients just good enough to keep their business? As a waiter/waitress do you assume they won’t tip well so you treat them with mediocrity? As a store manager do you discourage or encourage your employees? When did you last give to a non-profit? church? a homeless person? At sport practice does your level of intensity match what it is in a game? Babysitters: do you show up late or early? leave a small gift of appreciation?

Make it a point each day to find a way to add more value to your product or service.

John Maxwell said “leadership isn’t about how far we advance ourselves, but how far we advance others.”

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”* Jesus meant it when He said to give and do it with a good agenda.

Remember- in order for someone to give they must have a receiver on the other end. If someone offers to add value to you in any way, don’t take away their right to do so; accept it with humility.

*Acts 20:35

I highly recommend The Go-Giver.

-Adam-

Important Questions To Ask Yourself

You already know I’m a big fan of questions. Here are some questions I’ve been answering for myself recently:

What do you like/dislike? The typical response to this is “What kind of things are you looking for?” These are a few of my responses:

• Respect                                          Nagging
• Coaching                                        Details
• Weightlifting                                    Volleyball
• Reading                                          Indecision
• Improving                                       Impatience
• Humor                                            Useless correction
• Sacrifices                                        Negativity
• “I don’t know”                                 Pride
• Affirmation

It’s okay to share with friends what you like and dislike. They won’t know otherwise. If you aren’t asked, tell them anyway.

What books have changed your life? Can you narrow it down to three?

1. The Aladdin Factor-I never understood the power and necessity of asking questions until I read this book. It has changed how I converse with people and the way I approach sales.
2. The Cashflow Quadrant-this is the first book I read after I graduated high school. Robert Kiyosaki writes about living in the right side of the quadrant, which is the Business Owner and Investor side; as opposed to living in the left side: Employee and Self-Employed. He writes that parents often teach their kids to do well in high school, get a “good” degree, get a “good” job which has “good” benefits, work 40 years, and then retire. Oh, and if you don’t go to college you can’t succeed. Kiyosaki scolds all of that and teaches you ways to live in the right side and have financial freedom. Financial Freedom being Time + Money= Financial Freedom.
3. Don’t Waste Your Life-this was an eye opener. My pastor gave me this book after I graduated high school. John Piper asks this question: What are you doing with your life!? Are you wasting it?” My responses was shifty. I didn’t think I was wasting it, but what evidence did I have to prove I wasn’t? Ever since, I consistently align my actions with how I want my life to look.

I have many other top books, but those three have influenced my life the most.

Who is your Wingman? The idea of being a Wingman, or having a Wingman, is beautiful. A Wingman is your go to guy. He’s always on your side. Your Wingman has similar goals as you. He’s got your back. I hesitate to say that a Wingman is your best friend because I think a Wingman can change. You might have a Wingman in church, your business organization, a non profit, coaching staff, and any other group.

The final question I’ll share is this: Who do you admire most? Think about this one. Write names down, cross off some, debate your options. Next, decide why you admire them. What characteristics do you want to copy? Knowing who you admire will help you shape your goals and your actions because you know where to aim: aim to be like those people. In the words of Adam Katz, “I want to be respected by those I respect.”

-Adam-

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Compound Interest aka Wealth Builder

The days of thinking a 50 dollar pair of pants is only worth 50 dollars… are over. That’s only the present value; the potential value is 4-5 times greater if you can grasp this: invest your 50 dollars over 20 years, gaining an average 8% interest, and after 20 years it will grow to 250 dollars! Those pants don’t cost you 50 dollars, they really cost you 250 dollars. If the pants are worth 250 dollars to you today, then buy the pants. This is straight out of Darren Hardy’s book, The Compound Effect.

Go to this compound interest calculator and begin plugging in numbers. See what happens if you contribute 100 dollars a month for however many years you choose, and use 8% interest. After that, use 10% of your monthly income as the amount. Then, change it to a different number of years- just play with it. The initial balance isn’t very important because most people don’t have an initial balance (nest egg, savings account. If you do, great.) Don’t keep reading until you experiment with the calculator, it’s crucial you understand the method. Don’t  be a fool and skip over this. Slow down, read it again, and understand this concept; don’t just skim over it.

calculator

Simply saving money, hoarding cash, doesn’t accumulate any kind of wealth. It just guarantees your money will still be there. You want your money to work for you; to multiply itself as you earn it. As George Clason says, “Your gold should become your servants and work for you.” This is called investing. Investing = compound interest. It allows your money to multiply as it grows.

Compound interest is one of the ways to financial prosperity. You can’t save yourself to wealth, but you can invest your way to it. In the words of a great man, “If I had known this at a young age, I would be so wealthy. But I didn’t know.” This is your warning: Start investing.

-Adam-

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How To Get a Good Tan

Over the years I have developed a very good system for tanning. When each summer comes along, I get very excited because tanning is like a game to me. The darker I get, the more gold coins I collect. I’m going to share with you the things I have learned and hopefully it will help you collect more gold coins.

• The art of the Re-Apply. Just like when you are trying to stay warm in the winter; you don’t use one big coat, you dress in layers. Same thing with tanning, dress in layers. The Art of the Re-Apply simply says that if you want a good tan, you must use lower UV protection and use it much more frequently. Whatever number you use to keep from getting burned, cut it in half, and that’s what you should use. For example, if 30 will keep you safe for a few hours, then use 15 and re-apply multiple times during your time in the sun (layers, not one big coat.) If you have lighter skin, and 45 is your norm, then use 20-30. As you get darker, use less protection (Start with 30, and as you get darker, move to 15…8…4…) Eventually you will start to build a layer of golden brown.

• It takes time. No one develops a great tan their first time. It takes multiple tanning sessions (done correctly) to get a good tan. Don’t rush it. It must be done slowly. Sometimes you’ll come in from tanning and you won’t be any darker. That’s ok. It might be because the UV index wasn’t high enough, or you weren’t out there long enough or it was a fluke. Either way, it’s better for it to take too long than not long enough.

• After EVERY tanning session, come inside, wash off all the sun tan lotion, and apply some kind of repairing lotion, preferably something with aloe in it. It makes a huge difference. I put on lotion whether I get tons of sun or none. Just about every store sells it right next to the normal sun block.

• I don’t recommend spray tan or tanning beds. A good tan = a real tan.

• Most important thing: NEVER GET BURNED. It’s a myth that sun burn ‘turns into’ tan. It doesn’t- it’s burn. Whether it’s on your face, lips, arms, chest, back, shoulders, legs, feet, behind the knees, ears, stomach, shins, or scalp, burn is bad. Don’t let it happen. You control if you get burned. Always put on sun block. Always.
  

-Adam-

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Why 18-24yr Olds Need Life Insurance

You aren’t married, you don’t have kids, you don’t own a home, and you don’t have school loans. But you still need life insurance. Here’s why.

Life insurance=if you have a life insurance policy on yourself, and you die, the company will send a large sum of money to your beneficiary (either a spouse or family member.) That’s what life insurance is, let me show you what it does.

About a year and half ago I met with a gentleman who had a baby just a few weeks old. The mother was upstairs while I met with the father and his infant son. They had a small mortgage ($50,000) which meant at his age, 26, it was very very inexpensive. He had no other life insurance at all. After I went through my normal presentation and it was time for him to buy, he said no. “I have to think about it.” My response was, “What in the world is there to think about?” His wife was a stay-at-home mom.  If he had been killed in a car wreck that same night, he would have left his wife and newly born son with nothing. The monthly premium was $16/month! That’s 50 cents a day! That’s the lowest premium I’ve ever shown anyone-ever.

He didn’t buy. (He had to kick me out of his house before I’d leave because I knew he was making a severe mistake.)

How does that story make you feel? (If it makes you feel sick, maybe you should sell insurance!)

For 50 cents a day, that gentleman could have made sure if anything happened to him, his wife and kids would have been taken care of.

When you buy life insurance, you are buying it with your health and age. In other words, it makes more sense to buy when you are young and healthy. So if you are 18-24, you are in your prime age bracket to purchase life insurance. And it’s not expensive. It’s about $30-40 dollars a month (depending on what you get of course. When you go to an Apple store, there are different prices for their computers. Same thing.)

“My dad and my pastor told me to only buy whole life (lasts your entire life) because term insurance isn’t worth it.” You need to keep listening to your dad, because he’s right about whole life being great. But term is great too. In reality, you need mostly term, and a smaller amount of whole life. Mostly because whole life is so much more expensive- Your premium just went from $35 to $85.

Back to the opening statement of this post. All those things I listed above are true about me. If I die within the next 30 years, the company will send Dick Sylvester $150,000. If I get married I will change the beneficiary to my wife. But what happens if I’m still living in 30 years? I will get all my money back–a full refund of $10,116.

I’m not saying you should buy life insurance simply because you can get all your money back; but it is a nice feature.

In conclusion, if you owe money to anyone, you need life insurance.  If you have zero debt, congratulations. You may not need life insurance. Oh wait, if you die, burial expenses’ are about $10,000. You didn’t have debt, and you still don’t (because you’re dead!) But now, it’s your mom, dad, or family member who has to pay for your funeral. Is that what you want?

Try telling this family their son didn’t need life insurance:

Man’s death is 25th at Crabtree Falls | Charlottesville Daily Progress. Make sure you read the last sentence.

“I’ve never met a widow who thought her husband had too much life insurance.” Dick Sylvester

-Adam-

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Is Someone Screening Your Calls?

Everyone has been in this situation: your phone starts blowing up (I use vibrate but it doesn’t matter) and you notice on the caller id that it’s a person you don’t really want to talk to. You don’t enjoy talking to this person. It’s not that he or she is a bad human being, it’s the simple fact you’d rather let it go to voice mail. Here are some of the reasons we screen our calls for certain people:

• They are hard to connect with.
• They only call when they need something.
• Horrible phone skills.
• It’s hard to say ‘no’ to them.
• You know what they’re going to say; they are predictable. This could mean they badger you.
• When they call they don’t have anything to say.

I’m not justifying everyone’s cold acts of not answering their phone because I think it’s poor people skills when anyone screens a call. But I do see a lot of value in improving your communication skills so fewer people screen your calls. Let’s look at the extreme opposite:

There is a much larger group of people who I love seeing on the caller id. I bet it’s the same way with you. What is it about those people? You probably connect with them. When they call they actually add value to you; you benefit from their calls. It’s almost exciting when they call, right?

Try:

• Greeting each person personally/different.
• Say their name.
• Create an inside joke that you start in the first 10 seconds of each call.
• Get straight to the point.
• Don’t ask “what’s up” unless you actually want to know what’s up.
• The first thing you say should either set them up for a response, or should segue right into the reason you’re calling.

Here’s the secret: Everyone has been screened- it’s impossible to connect with everyone. The real question is this: how will you begin to treat others differently to ensure you are screened less and less? Do you want to cause people to be excited when you call, or anxious?

-Adam-

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View Others as Bridges, not Steps

José Manuel Pujol Hernández (Venezuelan leadership guru) said, “If we view people as steps then we will use them to raise ourselves up. But if we view them as bridges, then we’ll connect with them.”

Life is about people. Look at all the things in your life that involve people: your job, great memories, athletic teams, prayers, and raising a family. Connecting with others will allow you to reach your full potential.

In his book, Everyone Communicates Few Connect, John Maxwell says in order to be successful you must learn to work with others; which requires connection. “If you want to connect with others but are hoping you can do so without being intentional, forget about it. Connecting always requires energy.”

Here are some things Maxwell recommends if you want to start connecting with people:

• Remember people’s names. “But Adam, I’m bad at remembering names.” Of course you are! Stop telling yourself you’re bad at it and you’ll instantly be better. Try.
• Introduce friends with incredible enthusiasm.
• Give. Everyone connects with a giver. Think about when you needed help, who was the first person who helped you? You’ll remember them for a while because you connected with them. Being a giver takes energy. In the words of the late Jim Rohn, “If it was easy, everyone would do it.”
• Show interest in others, maintain eye contact, ask questions and then respond to those questions, actively listen, avoid texting in the middle of their sentence, and extend a firm handshake (Napoleon Hill said your hand should not feel like a cold piece of ham.)

Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart created his 10 Foot Rule: From this day forward, I solemnly promise and declare that every time a customer comes within ten feet of me, I will smile, look him in the eye, and greet him.

Andre Agassi, in his fantastic autobiography, Open, described his new coach, Brad Gilbert, this way: “I like the way this feels. I respond to Brad’s ideas, his enthusiasm, his energy…the beginning of a beautiful friendship. A vital new member of the team.” Does it sound like Andre connected with Brad?

Dan Reiland wrote this great description on giving:  “The giver teaches out of love, grace, gratitude, compassion, passion, and the overflow. The audience doesn’t have to give anything- only receive.” Get to a time that when you are communicating with a person, that person only needs to focus on receiving from you. Then you are truly connecting with that person.

-Adam-

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Is It Worth It?

You have probably dealt with the issue of: is it worth it? Or better yet: what will make it worth it? For example: it’s the issue of babysitting. Your night is over, the parents just walked in from their night out, and their kids were monsters. Had you known the kids would be this bad, you would have charged the parents more than 10 dollars an hour. You have been thinking all evening: “I need to be paid more. 10 dollars/hr is definitely not enough.” Pretend you have decided to charge them more money.

Here’s the issue: how much is enough?

What if you determine you want 11 dollars/hr and you worked from 5pm-10pm. That’s only 5 additional dollars after a horrible night. Is 5 dollars worth it? Does 5 measly bucks justify your horrible night? It’s either 50 dollars in your pocket, or 55 dollars. Wow…

Here’s a better example: Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner wrote in their book, Freakonomics, about a study that was conducted by an Israeli day care center. They were having issues with parents arriving late to pick up their children.

The study lasted 10 weeks. For the first four weeks they had a sign posted asking parents to be on time picking up their children. They kept track of late arrivals for the entire month. After the first month, they enacted a fine of three dollars per incident. They tracked the number of late arriving parents and it increased. Why?

Because three dollars wasn’t enough. It was a great deal for the parents, but it certainly wasn’t worth it to the employee who had to stay late.

Don’t make a mockery of your extra work by asking for a higher amount because when it’s all over you’ll ultimately realize the extra compensation still didn’t make it worth it. In the babysitting example the sitter should not ask for 11 dollars because the parents will think their child was only 1 dollar/hr more awful than usual and they won’t grasp what kind of night you had. Earning 5 more dollars is worthless in determining the value of your labor.

In closing, asking for extra compensation should not happen often. But when it’s necessary, make sure it’s worth it.

-Adam-

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Delayed Gratification: A Brilliant Example

You should hate the idea of delayed gratification. It’s completely against human nature. That’s not to say you don’t ever partake in it; but it goes against your will to have something later. But how about I give you an example that helps you delay your gratification, and it’s better? Here it is: back into your parking spot.

If you pull into your spot, that’s instant gratification. If you back in, it’s considered delayed. But it makes much more sense to back in. Here’s why:

Don’t you have to reverse either way?  Why not back in (reverse) while there aren’t any blind spots? You can see other drivers, kids that may be running around, and other distractions; not to mention it’s easier to back in. But if you pull into the space now you have to back out of the spot with 2 bad blind spots! You can’t see other cars, kids are now at higher risk, and it takes much longer to pull out.

Let’s break it down:

1. It’s quicker/easier to pull out of your space than to back out
2. It’s safer to drive backward when you have less blind spots
3. It’s easier to back in than it is to back out

This is clearly a no brainer.

After reading this post, why would you EVER pull in?

-Adam-

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A Quick Story about Asking

I’m at Sam’s Club with two items. All I see are lines longer than John Isner’s tennis match today. Like always, the lines consist of people that seem to be shopping for their entire neighborhood. But I only have two items. There is one woman who has her light off, meaning she has closed her checkout and the gentleman she is working with is HER LAST CUSTOMER. Jack Canfield says the world is full of genies waiting to grant your wish. So I walk up to the woman, my 2 items easily in view, and say with complete assumptive confidence, “Will you please check me out? I only have two items. Pleeeease?” Between the 2nd please and my huge smile on my face, she can’t resist. As I walk off with my two items, a lady who shows up behind me hoping to get a quick checkout receives bad news from my favorite employee at Sam’s: “He was my last customer, I’m closed.” She walks away only to get a spot behind the man who must be buying food for the entire nation of Algeria.

You have to ask. What’s the worst thing that can happen.

-Adam-

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The Law of the Inner Circle

John Maxwell says the level of success in your organization is measured by the people that surround you. In other words, you will either win or lose because of the people on your team.  He calls this the Law of the Inner Circle. This is true if you are a pastor of a church, a CEO of a fortune 500 company, a young life leader, manager of a supermarket, coach, parent, or leading a non-profit.

If you have great people in your inner circle then you can make a lot of progress because you’ll have the support to pull things off. The inverse is true; if you have the wrong people you’ll start to stand still. In Good to Great Jim Collins describes it like a bus. You have to get the right people on the bus, get the right people in the right seats, and then drive the bus in the right direction. If any of those get crooked, you’ll have problems.

Here’s my favorite part of the Law of the Inner Circle: have the meeting before the meeting. If you have ten people in your team and you’re about to have a meeting, there are always two or three members who influence the others. That’s just how it works. Before the meeting, discuss the issue with them first so you get their buy-in before the meeting (you might also discover issues you hadn’t thought of and you can solve it at that point instead of getting blindsided at the meeting.) Since they are the “influencers” you’ll have a much more efficient meeting.  These mini leaders are your inner circle- spend the majority of your time with them and good things will happen.

Books I recommend on this topic: 360 Degree Leader by John C. Maxwell and 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by Maxwell.

-Adam-

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Health and Vitality. Strong Body.

If you want to reach your goals your body must be able to keep up.

Jim Rohn said, “Unless you have the health, it can’t be done.”

Your mind won’t produce great ideas if it knows your body will waste them.

Jillian Michaels hates two things: Broccoli and The Treadmill. But she still eats broccoli and still runs on the treadmill because she knows those behaviors will draw her closer to her goals. “Weight loss is simple: it’s calories in, calories out. Eat real food. Game over.”

Jim Rohn ate an apple a day. I recommend we do the same.

Chris Guerriero recommends that if you start a new lifestyle diet which means you are daily eating foods that add value to your body, then here is what you should do:

take off a meal a week

take off an entire day a month

Arnold Schwarzenegger called it your cheat day. We are humans, so we need a break.  On your day off eat reasonably, but enjoy yourself.

Here is a story if you want to begin building vitality in your body today; let this speak for itself:

My friend in his early fifties cut sugar from his diet. Within 3 weeks he lost 15 lbs. He felt so good that he committed 5 days a week to the gym, and a few months later he was an additional 15 lbs lighter=   30 lbs lost total.

I’ve eliminated lemonade from my lifestyle.

-Adam-

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Instantly Add Value to Others

This is a short post.

Do you want to add value to others? If you didn’t you wouldn’t be reading this blog.

Start sending people thank you cards. All the time. Make it a habit. Send a thank you card to someone each time you brush your teeth. It’s that important.

When someone gives you a genuine ‘thank-you’ don’t you melt? Who doesn’t like it when a person goes out of their way to give appreciation:

• Thank you
• You are the perfect person for this position
• I appreciate you
• I love you
• You worked way harder for me than anyone else has
• I need you
• Your kids behaved at dinner last night, thank you
• I’m glad you’re in my life
• You brighten my day

One of the main differences in my life from 6 months ago is that I send friends and family thank you cards in the mail. It’s awesome. It changes my heart, but more importantly, I know it makes their day, maybe their week or even month ten times better!

Keep the personal note short, genuine, and concise. And remember, no one is sitting at home waiting for your thank you card to arrive so they’ll never know if you don’t do it. But it’ll change them forever if you do.

-Adam-

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The Seven Remedies for a Lean Purse

If you haven’t read “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George S. Clason then this post could change your life.  Jim Rohn, one of the world’s greatest thought leaders and philosophers of all time, always told his listeners about this book. Jim passed away this year and he was a grand old man. He knew the truths Clason tells are priceless and timeless.

Part of the reason this book is phenomenal is because of the language he uses. It’s written as if it’s 2,000 years old. But because he uses this language he is able to explain what other authors struggle to explain in extraordinarily simple ways. Don’t you dare judge this book because of the language. That would be embarrassing.

I’m going to share with you the Remedies of a Lean Purse that could build a foundation to your life.

1. For each ten coins I put in, to spend but nine. If you earn ten gold coins a week, put nine coins in your purse and place the tenth coin in a savings account. No matter your income, always save a tenth, and soon your lifestyle will adjust to your new income (nine tenths.) Your purse will fatten.
2. Control Thy Expenditures. Each one of us have desires that keep our purse from fattening. In the book, the teacher is addressing a group of broke men (with lean purses.)  He says that all the men are broke, yet some have much fatter purses than others. In other words, there are dentists, lawyers, secretaries, landscapers, and postal workers that all have different incomes, yet are all equally broke. His point: every man has more desires than his income can gratify. So stop buying the small stuff and spend within your budget. A budget defends a fat purse. Those who think budgets enslave you, are enslaved by their own spending. Never spend more than nine tenths of your income.
3. Make Thy Gold Multiply. A man’s wealth is not in the coins he carries in his purse; it is the income he buildeth, the golden stream that continually floweth into his purse and keepeth it always bulging. The investments he advises become golden slaves, each laboring and earning more gold. This is the modern-day equivalent of compounding interest. If you save one tenth each week, and add it to principal in a stock or mutual fund, then each week you receive interest on the principal + one tenth. Over time it multiplies.
   
4. Guard Thy Treasures from Loss. Prevent thy purse from being emptied once it has become well filled. Guard they treasure from loss by investing only where they principal is safe, where it may be reclaimed if desirable, and where thou will not fail to collect a fair rental. Consult with wise men. Secure the advice of men experience in the profitable handling of gold. Let their wisdom protect thy from unsafe investment.
5. Make of Thy Dwelling a Profitable Investment. The fifth remedy for a lean purse: Own thy own home.
6. Insure a Future Income. Provide in advance for the needs of thy growing age and the protection of thy family. Save for when your youth is gone and you still need a fat purse (still within your nine tenths of your income.)  “Protection of thy Family” = life insurance. Case closed. You can’t afford not to have it.
7. Increase Thy Ability to Earn. You must have a strong desire to earn more, a proper and commendable desire. The more wisdom we require, the more we earn. Pay your debts with promptness (if you have debt.) He must acquire his gold truthfully and respectfully. He must have compassion on those who are injured or smitten with misfortune. Acquire confidence so you may have much gold.

The book continues and only gets better. This book, only if read, will change the way you handle money. You’ll learn what mistakes other people are making. Read the book. It’s short and you can buy it used from Amazon.

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Two Worlds

While reading A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller, I was confronted by my own failure to live a true life. What  I mean is this: I often live two different lives: my spiritual life and my secular life. Here is some background:

Miller’s book is about developing a richer prayer life. While there are many great points in his book, one of the chapters nails this question: why does praying feel odd? He tells a story about when his daughter was entering the science fair project and he was helping her with the experiment. It came time to write a log of all the things she had done; starting with the first thing and ending on the last thing. Miller recommended number one: “We prayed.”

“I can’t write that.” Emily said.

“Why not?”

“That isn’t how it works, Dad. They don’t want us to say that.”

For her entire life Christian schools, Christian friends, church, youth group, and even Christian camps had been her life’s main influence. Yet, it was odd to write, “I prayed.”

Here’s my point and the point Miller is making: Emily has two worlds. Her Christian world and real world. She tries to keep them separate by not writing, “we prayed” on her list of activity. Emily is not the only one.

I struggle all the time with questions like: “Why don’t you get drunk on the weekends?” My initial reaction is to give some cool answer like, “It’s not my scene,” or “I’m driving tonight.” But the REAL reason I don’t get drunk is because Jesus said, “Do no get drunk on wine.” Ephesians 5:18.* My struggle exists because of America’s refusal to accept God into the culture. Just about every country in the world intertwines their religion and the rest of their society. It’s not odd to pray in other countries. It is here. It wouldn’t be odd for me to give my real reason for not getting drunk in a different country. It is here.

I’m not asking for sympathy. This is a challenge.

How have you divided your life? Are you living two worlds? When you’re about to eat dinner with a bunch of friends, and God tells you to pray, I doubt He wants you to pray in your head. Bow your head, close your eyes, and pray. Stop living in two different worlds.

[*I'm not claiming I'm going to start reciting Bible verses every time I'm asked that question. There's a time and place for everything. But we need to be careful about our motives behind our choice in each situation.]

-Adam-

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One of My Favorite Books

The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen will completely change your life. I’ve only read it twice but I’ve absorbed so many skills that directly and instantly apply to my life and I’m sure will apply to yours as well. The book focuses on asking questions: when, how, why, what to ask. Canfield and Hansen state that our society condemns asking questions. When you were in school, how often did your peers tell you to stop asking dumb questions? Haven’t you been scared of asking your boss for a raise, or even more instruction? When we were younger, our parents would stop answering our child like questions after about the 3rd one, “Stop asking me so many questions.” Our society hates being asked questions.

The Aladdin Factor states very accurately that our life will be defined by the level of questions we ask.

“The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wish.”

ASK ASK ASK! You have to ask! Ask at home, work, school. Ask God, yourself, the world. The book is full of stories (of course, Canfield and Hansen are the authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul, over 1 billion in sales) that will pound into your brain that asking is the key to getting what you want. One of my favorite stories is this:

In 1988, Ron Chapman asked for $20. He was a disc jockey in Dallas, Texas in the mornings. He joked with his team at the radio station that if he asked people to send him $20, someone was bound to send some money. They laughed and mocked him (sound familiar?) The next morning he went on air: “Send me twenty dollars. That’s all I want.”  $5,000 arrived the next day. After $4,000 was delivered in his mailbox the day after, he made a new announcement “STOP! That’s enough!”  His listeners didn’t listen. They stuffed checks under his door. Some left money with the custodian. After three days, Ron Chapman had 12, 156 checks, equaling $240,000!

Chapman didn’t give anything in return. He didn’t guarantee it would go to an orphan fund or cancer research. He didn’t promise it would go to a good cause that would somehow bless the giver.  He didn’t even say it was a bet against his colleagues.  He simply asked for it.  How foolish are we when we don’t think it’s worth to ask?

This book is too good not to be read by every American.

-Adam-

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The X Factor

The X Factor: it’s you.

Darren Hardy (publisher of Success Magazine) says the X Factor determines your level of success in your life. YOU decide what books you read, you decide who you spend your time with, you decide the questions you ask, and you set your goals. Jim Rohn says it well, “If you don’t make the decisions in your life, your enemies will.”

I like what John Wesley said, “Pray like it depends on God, work like it depends on you.” Isn’t that a great way to put it? Prayer is crucial in my life, I should pray more, but I pray. I pray a lot. Here’s a story to put it well:

A guy kept praying that he’d win the lottery. “God please, just let me win the lottery.” For years and years he prayed that he would be a winner. Finally, his time came, and he showed up in Heaven and God was waiting for him. The guy asked God, “All those years I prayed, how come you never let me win?” God replied, ” Cut me some slack, you could have at least bought a ticket.”

The X Factor is you. Start doing something. While you’re waiting for your big idea to hit you in the head, start your engine. John Maxwell says that his first idea was never his best. Rarely does a good idea come when you’re not doing something. Once you start trying new things and experimenting, then the ideas start flowing.

You are the biggest factor in your life. Do what you need to do to get to the next level.

-Adam-

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