Questions to ask yourself before you get married

Are you going my way?

Jim Croce’s “I Got a Name” contains a lyric If you’re going my way, I’ll go with you. You can listen to it here (2:33). If you’re in a serious relationship but you’re not sure if you should pull the trigger and buy her a ring (or decide what you’ll say if he gives you a ring!) then you should ponder that lyric. Ask yourself, are we going the same direction? Are we pursuing the same thing and similar things? In other words, are we both pursuing an active relationship with Jesus which will result in glory in Heaven? And are we pursuing common interests? Obviously the first question is way more important but the second matters too.

Do you have any secrets?

Often couples uncover deep, dark secrets years into their marriage. Every couple should have that dreaded, brutal conversation which includes both parties coming clean before they say I do. No secrets. Everything. For Ashley and me, it took 4 days. Better to deal with the crap now. Afterwards you’ll feel extremely vulnerable and exposed, but at least you’ll feel the security of being KNOWN by him/her and still being loved. Because being loved, but not known, is fake. (I suggest waiting till you’re engaged to do this.)

NewMarriage pdf [use Find key and search ‘share all your sins’]

Is it good?

I’ve written about this before. If it’s not good while you’re dating don’t expect marriage to make it better.

Is he/she your god?

If God took her/him away from you, would you abandon your life? Would you crumble? If you ceased dating this person would your life lose meaning? If so, that person is your idol. Which means God isn’t your main love. Marrying that person will only fuel your idolatry.

Are you best friends?

You should only marry someone if they’re your BESTfriend. If you slowly and intentionally get to know someone and you eventually develop a healthy relationship with them and one day you realize that person is your best friend… you might be ready to pull the trigger. Best friend means you trust that person the most, you’re the most honest towards that person, you’re unashamed around that person, you share mutual loyalty and commitment with each other.