3 reasons vs. missionary dating

Recently a buddy of mine told me he had hit it off really well with a girl and went out on several dates with her. But then discovered she wasn’t a Christian. He was torn: should he keep dating her in hopes she would become a Christian? or break up with her on the grounds that she didn’t share any of his faith? I’m very happy to say he chose the latter and hasn’t looked back.


The only reason to date is if you have the intent of marriage. The Bible says marriage is designed to bring both the man and woman closer to Jesus. So how can that happen if the woman doesn’t even believe in Jesus? (Ephesians 5:21-33) Disclaimer: everyone has heard the story of a christian marrying a non-christian and it working out well and both know Jesus. But that is a major exception. The normal outcome is very predictable: the two will grow apart because they will cease to understand each other.

Ultimately, the husband and wife will drift apart because the non-believer will get tired of the faith-based decisions and lifestyle of the other. Or the believer will get burned out of connecting on rather silly and meaningless matters since Christ should be the main thread of unity. Eventually, they’ll both want more in the relationship but will try to satisfy that desire in completely different ways.

Raising children will become complicated and inconsistent. Ephesians 6:4 and all throughout Proverbs instructs parents to raise their children up in the faith. But the water will get murky if both parents aren’t on the same page.

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